Out Of Body Experience: Five Feet Apart

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Last night I went to see the movie Five Feet Apart. A witty teen love story where two Cystic Fibrosis patients meet and fall in love, despite the obstacles. Like any Hollywood creation, there were the cliche moments and romanticized bits…but there was so much realness there as well. It was a fantastic movie which I highly recommend and truly appreciate.

As I was watching, my sympathy emotions were flying off the handle. I cried countless times. It’s a real tear jerker. You get attached to the characters, you feel their emotions as your own, and you experience their pain.

But that isn’t what made me cry.

The relatable reality is what made me cry…hard.

You see, I have Cystic Fibrosis. Everything in that movie has been or could be my own reality.

That was the hardest part. Most days, I go through my days with little thought of my CF. I do my treatments simply because they have always been a part of my schedule, I take the countless medications mindlessly, just going through the motions, I drink high calorie shakes and stay active, just because that’s what I do.

But watching this movie reminded me that I DO have CF. That the realities it depicts are all too familiar. And that the fears they faced are the same fears I face head on each and every day.

These truths all came crashing down on me like a ton of bricks. It was like an out of body experience. Then a hard reality. It’s not about the sadness or the fear or the struggle of living with CF. It’s not about the finally finding a friend to relate just to get to know them and watch them die. It’s mot about the medicines and the hospitals and the lung function numbers.

It’s about the hope.

It’s about the will to live.

It’s about the beautiful feeling of taking a breath.

It’s the little things that we do each and every day and take for granted. A hug from someone you love, a chat with an old friend, the smell of your cup of coffee in the morning, the feeling of laughing so hard you think your stomach might burst. It’s the crisp cool air in the morning. It’s the smell of a baby. It’s the feeling of curling up next to a fire on a cold day. It’s the complexity of a flower. It’s the unspoken love that you share with someone else.

All of these things are what life is about. LOVING it. Appreciating it. Making the most of it. Waking up with enthusiasm and joy every single day.

We only get so many moments.

Spend them connecting with who you are. Spend them learning about yourself. Spend them connecting with others. Spend them giving of yourself what you can to a greater cause. Spend them loving every moment you experience, every sight you see, every smell and taste and feel you can possibly feel.

Crashing realities are hard. They are terrifying and humbling and real.

But they also help us see the beauty in what we have and the possibility of what we can appreciate. How we can learn and grow and connect and share. How we can be more in tune with our truths and what brings us joy.

This movie taught me that there are a few essential things that we need in life.




After that, what else really matters?

To all my 65 Roses fighters out there….let’s teach the world what it means to breathe gratefully.